Left Turn, Clyde

Did I mention I'm stupid?

My car is dead, and I've been borrowing my mother's car to get back and forth from work. No, that's not the stupid part yet. My mother left on the weekend for a 2-week road trip, leaving me with no car. No worries, I thought, I'll take the bus. Sure, its about 2 hours each way, but hey, that's life.

I talked to some coworkers who had taken the bus before, and found out what busses I needed. I took the bus for the first time this morning. It was a pleasant ride. It was nice to be able to sit back and relax, enjoy the scenery, and not worry about highway traffic. Unfortunately, my iPod ran out of juice after 10 minutes because I forgot to charge it last night.

No, that's not the stupid part.

I watched the route carefully, and got off at the proper place - a large bus/train terminal in Burlington. All I had to do was get off the bus, and go west, then south.

I went east. Then North.

Yes, that was the stupid part.

Instead of a 10-minute walk to work, I hiked for over an hour. Not just on roads. No, sticking to the roads would have been smart. I decided to take a short cut. Through the woods. After all, there was a path, right? Good idea, right?

No, stupid idea.

The path was muddy and frequently washed out. Did I mention it was raining? Did I mention we have had unseasonably warm weather? Did I mention the spring run off? Well, I have now. At one point I had to backtrack, because the path - which by this time was paved - was actually flooded by a stream - sorry, raging river - which had overflowed its banks. There was no way the sad little culvert beneath the path could handle this volume of water. The river flowed over the path, and off the other side, leaving it completely under water.

Eventually, I got back to a road, which lead through a featureless, bleak and barren subdivision. Perhaps you are familiar with these places ... miles after miles of identical housing, without a single variety store or gas station to be seen. Just homes. Homes of people who don't want a wet, strange man knocking on their door.

Eventually I reached Burl-Oak road, which was quite a shock for me. After all, I was expecting it to be another road, miles away. At this time, I realized the full depths of my stupidity, and I despaired.

Even though I had my cell phone, I couldn't call a taxi. I didn't know any Burlington cab company phone numbers. So I walked, and walked, and walked. In the wet, cold rain. You may think its redundant to refer to rain as wet, but if you think back to any time in which you have been caught out in the wet, cold rain, you will remember the feelings, and excuse my apparent lapse.

Eventually I reached an Esso station (I actually walked 20 yards past the first gas station, a Petro Canada, because I HATE Petro Canada) where the guy behind the counter gave me the number of a local cab company. Well, at first, he said he didn't know, and then I pointed out that he was standing within arms reach of no fewer than three phone books. After he grabbed one of the phone books, then he gave me the number of a cab company.

I called the cab, and then waited for 15 minutes while a woman at the pay phone argued loudly with a gentleman named Mike. Apparently, she did so give the money to Julian, and if he's saying that she didn't, then he's a lying bitch, who never was no go anyway. Or some such.

I arrived at work, feeling about as shitty as I have in a long, long time, and suffering from a raging case of self pity. After about 10 minutes, I discovered that my supervisor Howard (a man I respect) had just left work. It seems he had to go drive his aging dog to the vet to have her put to sleep. Suddenly, being tired, wet and cranky didn't seem to matter to me much anymore.