Superbowl Hiss Story

I can't claim to be a football fan. I don't dislike the sport or anything; in fact, I have been trying to cultivate an interest in the game. For the past year and a half, I have been watching the occasional game, and have even learned a bit about the sport. This year, I decided I was going to watch the Super Bowl, having missed my opportunity the year before (I had to work).

Now, I have never actually watched a Super Bowl before in my life, so I was looking forward to this as a new experience. My friend Gary had just recently come into a new (to him) big-screen TV, and he was planning on watching the game at home. His wife Laura had promised to head out for the day, bringing the boy (Daxon) with her, freeing the house for uninterrupted Super Bowl watching.

During half-time, we were watching the Rolling Stones (who, by the way, wimped out like they did on Sullivan, caving to the NFL's pressure to modify their lyrics ... but what can you expect from Rolling Stones Incorporated?) when the phone rang. It was Laura, who wanted to come home. We were a little surprised, and mentioned that perhaps she didn't fully understand the phrase "uninterrupted Super Bowl Watching". I volunteered to go pick her up, as Gary had been drinking.

I headed out, and picked Laura and her son up, and was driving back when I decided to check out the game on the radio. As I was listening, Laura started to tell me a story about something that had happened at karaoke, when my attention was grabbed by the game announcer. Somebody had the ball, and was running ... past the 20, 30, 50, 70 ... touchdown! According to the announcer, it was the longest run from the line of scrimmage in Super Bowl history.

And I missed it.

I like Laura, and the last thing I would want to do is hurt her feelings (ok, in reality, the last thing I want to do is saw of my testicles with a bread knife), so I remained silent. While a part of me was a little disappointed at not being there to see the play, it wasn't like a huge deal in my life. We drove quietly for a few moments, when I heard Laura speak.

"Are you upset with me?"

Like I said earlier, I didn't want to hurt Laura's feelings, but I did want to have a little fun with her.

"I ain't sayin' nothin'," I said oxymoronically. I was going to let her twist for a few moments, but it became obvious that we both knew how I felt, and that while mildly disapointed, it was no big deal. We both laughed.

"Besides, if it had been Gary, he would have killed you." Gary is a huge sports fan. "And after he returned home, I would have mocked him severely, so perhaps this is for the best."

We both had a laugh out of it, and Gary was actually nice enough not to mock me when we get back.