Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Cargo Boom

My car went boom.

Well, ok, not so much "boom" as "hiss", but still, its pretty bad. Before I continue, I would like to make the following disclaimer:

* ASH KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT CARS. THIS IS NOT HIS FAULT, BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TAUGHT HIM ANYTHING ABOUT CARS. ANY BAD DECISIONS ASH MAKES REGARDING CARS SHOULD BE BLAMED ON HIS FATHER. *

I'm pretty sure I killed my car myself. Not deliberately mind you, because I like my car. Ok, sure, its dented and rusty, but its fairly sleek, it has balls, and it gets me places fast. Last week, it was overheating, and I didn't know why. I checked my oil levels, and the oil was completely dry. So I added some oil. 5 litres of oil, to be precise. Apparently - as I have now learned - adding too much oil is a very, very bad thing.

And the car was still overheating.

So I checked my rad fluid levels, and they seemed ok. Just to be safe, I topped off my overflow resevoir, and hoped against hope that this would solve the problem. But it didn't. Now, not only was my car overheating, it was farting out huge clouds of noxious fumes, much like my Uncle Frankie the day after eating chili. Now, bear in mind, all this work I was doing on my car was probably the equivalent of asking a drooling twit to perform open heart surgery using only a steak-knife and a copy of the Coles Notes (Cliff Notes for you Americans) version of Grey's Anatomy.

Yesterday, on the highway, the car started to smoke. From under the hood. Tapping my vast knowledge about all things automotive, I assumed that this was a bad thing. I pulled over when I could, and watched helplessly as smoke poured out of my car. I wondered briefly if it was going to catch fire, but decided not to hang around and watch. I left my car, and walked to work.

So today, I called my mechanic and he sent out a tow truck. The truck has come, and taken my car away. I'm now waiting to find out the verdict: how much it will cost me remains to be seen.

My mechanic warned me that it might just be time to scrap the car. I believe he used the phrase "put it out of its misery".
UPDATE
My car is dead. In lieu of flowers, please send me money.

9 comments:

Morbid Angel said...

I was never taught much about cars but I did try to make a small attempt to learn whatever I could soak up.

I too when I first had my car and just was young and taught everything was fine didn't check the oil... which inturns burns out your pistons

In the future try synthetic oils. They help protect your car engine somewhat more then ordinary regular oil.

and when checking Rad fluid don't forgot to check coolant fluid as well (and mix with 50% water)

Don't forget your air filter as well

Regular matience is a must and if your confused or unsure check the owners manuel or look it up on Google.

Don't feel bad Ash I sucked the life outta my Camaro from neglecting.

Rach said...

R.I.P.
Asher's Car
Put-Put-Poot

Daxohol said...

I'm sorry for your loss brother...*HUGE WARM HUG* She was a good car...Make sure you grab all your gizmos and gadgets before they bury her!!!

Samuel said...

Oh..wow..

Good luck at finding another car that's fairly cheap!

REK'd Productions said...

If, since I have a little more experience with cars, I can provide you with assistance in you car purchase (when the time comes) let me know.

REK

Kim Ayres said...

This was the reason that when I came into a little money, I bought myself a new car. Brand spanking new. Japanese (Mazda 3).

I have had a lifetime of cars breaking down and I was sick of it. Especially when I rival you in the how-a-car-works category. It is sooooooo good having a car I can now rely on for the next couple of years.

Jenn said...

Sorry to hear about your car.

Newson Motors on Plains Rd. rocks. Cheap, clean and lots under 5k. Basically high mileage lease returns that high end DEALERS can't resell, but lots of life in them still. All saftey certified and e-tested. It was a good experience. With reasonable flexibility on the price and no "used car dealer" bullshit. Just bought a minivan for 4k all in.

Future suggestion-when car overheats, turn on your heat.

The suggestion for oil changes every 3 months or 5k is not just to sell oil.

Cars that don't get oil changes do things like blow heads off spark plugs and carbonize cylinders. That's expensive shit, and Bardahl will only save you for so long.

When shopping for a new car:

Look under oil cap for Bardahl residue it's a bit yellow, and has the consistency of Vaseline-this is a clue that there is a valve job in the car's future and someone is trying to hide it. Be especially wary if engine has been shampooed recently. (Even you will recognize a ridiculously clean engine in an older car)

Look around tops of cylinders for carbon residue. This is evidence that the previous owner knew nothing about cars and probably never changed the oil. Be especially wary if engine has been shampooed recently. (Even you will recognize a ridiculously clean engine in an older car)

Drive it up the highway 6 hill and listen for "growling" as the transmission changes gears. The growl is a dead giveaway (especially in Fords) that the transmission may need help.

Find a parking lot. While driving S-L-O-W-L-Y crank steering all the way in both directions and drive in a circle. If the car shudders, stalls or groans, move on.

Good luck!

Auntie Bernie said...

Hey Ash. Sorry about the car. The big guy will shop for a car with you when he gets back from Italy. Let me know if you need a ride anywhere in the meantime - you were my saviour when I was without wheels before.

Asher Hunter said...

Morbid Angel: Thanks for the advice, I can definitely use it!

Rach, Daxohol, and Samuel: Thanks for the condolences. :)

Rek'd: I think I'm going to elicit the services of Peter, but thanks for the offer!

Kim: I'm starting to think the same way ... I'm getting tired of the "cheap" car that lasts for 2 years.

Jenn: Definitely good advice, I will keep it in mind for next time.

Bernie: Thanks very much, I definitely will talk to Peter when he's back. I'll let you know if I need a lift anywhere. :)