Thursday, October 06, 2005

Fuck Red Bull

You heard me. Fuck Red Bull. I can't express my disdain for this drink. First off, people drink it because its popular. Its the current cool drink, the new Gatorade. People drink it when they don't need it, just because its a trendy thing to be seen drinking.

"Red Bull gives you wings". Fuck yeah, so did Daedalus. Red Bull contains caffeine. Which, I seem to remember, our medical community keeps telling us is bad, and should be avoided in excess. But Red Bull fans love to trumpet the caffeine content. It contains about as much caffeine as a large cup of coffee. And costs about $2.50 Canadian. You can get a large Tims for $1.30. So if its caffeine you're after, you can get it elsewhere, cheaper.

Red Bull tastes like ass. According to BevNet (a website dedicated to reviewing drinks for quality and taste - see below for links), Red Bull " truly painful to drink". The first time I had a Red Bull, I likened the taste to a liquified twinkie, mixed with sugar and a cock punch.

Red Bull claims to revitalize your energy and mind. There is some evidence to state that this might be true. There is also evidence which states this might be false. Many people love to mix Red Bull with alcohol ... because as we all know, when you drink, you want your booze to get MORE expensive.

Now, I think pretty much any doctor will tell you that mixing a depresent (booze) with a stimulant (caffeine) is, in a word, stupid. There is also medical evidence that mixing Red Bull with alcohol may be hazardous to your health (according to BBC News).

In many European countries (including Austria, where the drink was invented), you can only buy Red Bull at a pharmacy. Here, we have it available ... well, pretty much anywhere. Despite the fact that the manufacturers of Red Bull say that the drink is not recommended for children, they do nothing to prevent the sale of their drink to minors. Minors who are extremely vulnerable to slick advertising campaigns.

The Swedish National Food Administration has issued a public health warning after three people died after drinking Red Bull. Now as of yet, there is no direct medical evidence to indicate that Red Bull was a contributing factor. If there were, they would just ban the product. However, there is enough concern in their medical community to issue the warning.

Most concerned medical practioners admit that Red Bull, in moderation, is probably harmless. However, people who work out and people who mix the drink with alcohol at clubs are at risk. Excess amounts of the drink have been linked to health issues. Also, when mixing with booze, the stimulating effect of the caffeine tends to make people feel more alert than they really are, masking the effects of intoxication. Translation? You're drunker than you think you are. Which means some people drink more because they don't know how drunk they are. Risking alcohol poisoning.

The FSPB (Food Safety Protection Board) in Ireland investigated Red Bull after the death of a young man. Their conclusions were that Red Bull should be classified as a stimulant drink.
According to this report:

a) stimulant drinks should be labelled with an indication that they are unsuitable for children (under 16 years of age), pregnant women and individuals sensitive to caffeine
b) they should be classified with other beverages of high caffeine content
c) the consumption of stimulant drinks by children under 16 years should be discouraged
d) caution should be exercised in the consumption of stimulant drinks with alcohol
e) they should not be consumed in association with sport and exercise as a thirst quencher
f) they are unsuitable rehydration agents for use in sport and during exercise."

So, in summary, Red Bull:

1) Is expensive.
2) Is painful to drink.
3) In excess, is linked to health problems.
4) Should be avoided during exercise.
5) Should not be mixed with alcohol.

Wow, no wonder it sells so well!



Jim Donahue said...

But ... but ... the TV says it's good!

Actually, I've never tried it, and I'm unlikely to.

Melody Breyer-Grell said...

I hate it too, (this is key west girl keep reading it get worse). As you can see from my profile soda makes me nervous and Red Bull makes me tired and jittery