Thursday, February 09, 2006

They Shoot Bushes, Don't They?

Bush is a fucktard. Let's face it, the man has the IQ of potato-salad, the ethics of a genetically bred shark/used-car salesmen hybrid, and all the appeal of an intestinal cyst. And yet, he is the US president. All hail the power of money. If the word "bush" wasn't already a slang-term for cunt, it would be after Dubya.
Bush is against global-warming. Not the actual global warming, but rather, the idea of global warming. Bush tells us that global warming is not real. Bush tells us we have nothing to worry about in regards to global warming. Bush is rich because his family makes insane fortunes selling oil.
Scientists tell us that global warming is a real possibility. Scientists tell us there is plenty to fear about global warming. Scientists tell us that the burning of fossil fuels - aka, oil - is one of the primary causes of global warming.
So, to encapsulate.
The more oil we burn, the more global warming increases.
The more oil we burn, the richer George W. Bush becomes.
Does anybody else see a conflict of fucking interest here?
And now, a fairy tale.

Once upon a time, there was a man named George Deutsch. George Deutsch did a lot of hard work on George W. Bush's 2004 election campaign. As a reward, Mr. Deutsch (who's name, I believe, is Dutch for "douchebag") was given a nice job at NASA, working in the press office.
Its ok though, its not like he was unqualified for the job. After all, he was awarded a journalism degree from Texas A&M University. So obviously he could do the job. Its not like Bush would give a job to a buddy if he couldn't do it. *cough*
Once in place at NASA, Mr. Douchebag was "...linked to a campaign to stifle discussion by space agency scientists on global warming".
Hmm. Seems that Mr. Douchebag was trying to get the scientists - who believe that global warming is a problem - to shut the fuck up about it. One cannot help wonder why he would do such at thing. Of course, the guy who gave him his job doesn't want people to talk about global warming (for reasons that remain mysterious, but might be financially related). And here, conincdentally, we have Mr. Douchebag furthering that agenda.
Now, some people - who might be less charitable than I am - might intimate that Mr. Douchebag was nothing more than a presidential plant, meant to support and advance the president's political agendas in a body that, by its very nature, should be apolitical. But I am inclined to be more understanding. Maybe Mr. Douchebag is just a fucking idiot.
Mr. Douchebag was also linked to an order instructing NASA's website to remove a posting mentioning that 2005 was the warmest year on record. Sure, such information might be interpreted as evidence of global warming. But to be fair to Mr. Douchebag, there could be alternate explanations. Perhaps, despite their fathers' dire warnings, the nation's children had been leaving the front door open, and thereby "heating the entire neighbourhood". It could happen.

The New York Times quoted a Nasa source as saying his involvement was part of "...an intensifying effort at the agency to exert political control over the flow of public information. The effort antagonised Nasa's most senior scientists, and last week prompted Michael Griffin, the agency's administrator, to offer a review of information policy, and a renewed commitment to 'scientific openness'."

One day, Texas A&M University came forward and said that Mr. Douchebag did not in fact have a degree in journalism. It seems that he lied on his resume. Just like the guy who ran FEMA into the ground. A man who, by the way, was given his job by - you guessed it - Bush.
But I'm sure that's just a coincidence.
So Mr. Douchebag resigned.
And they all lived happily ever after.
So, let's boil all this down to its simplest elements.

- Bush makes money from oil
- Burning oil may contribute to global warming
- Global warming, if real, is bad
- Bush doesn't want people to talk about global warming
- Bush gives jobs to unqualified people, so long as they further his agenda

How fucking stupid are we? How can this horseshit continue, time and time again, while we sit back and do nothing? Why is it Clinton undergoes an insanely long trial over oral sex and a cum-stained dress, while Bush can continue to behave in this criminal fashion without any official action?
Are we seriously so fucked up a society that we care more about presidential adultery than we do about graft, theft, and overt lies? Why do we care more about Monica's mouthful than we do about Bush's "...politically motivated campaign to stop scientists from speaking publicly on global warming or giving interviews to the media"?
Its about time we woke the fuck up, people. The wet dream has given way to a nightmare.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you would find a little dig into Afghanistan/Iraq/Haliburton much more entertaining.

You have been lacking in your venom lately.

FXW

Asher Hunter said...

FXW - What can I say, I can't be filled with rage all the time. :)

Don Q. said...

With ya brother. We can commiserate togehter once we all live in the "Big Dome". http://onceafatguy.blogspot.com/2005/09/becoming-single-issue-voter.html

Ultimately, Americans don't want global warming to be true, so they are willing to believe anyone who tells them it's not. They also probably believe that Bush wants to cure American's of "our addiction to oil".

Jim Donahue said...

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Monkey Diarist said...

The key phrase here is "Burning oil may contribute to global warming."

If nature was meant to last, they wouldn't have invented asphalt!

Personally, I think the Earth's temperature is cyclical... i mean, there were no humans burning oil in the mezozoic era yet the temperature was much warmer... and there were no humans using hfcs during the last great ice age and yet the temperature was MUCH colder.

Claiming global warming is cause by burning oil is a great way to get money for your tree-hugging cause, but it doesn't mean that what we do as humans plays much of a role in how the earth responds to cyclical changes in the atmosphere. Of course, I'm a rational adult human being that has the ability to look beyond emotional rhetoric in order to justify my place in the world (my place being master and servent of my environment in equal measure).