"The Republican lawyer shot by Dick Cheney in a hunting accident in Texas last weekend has emerged from hospital and apologised to the US Vice-President for all the trouble the shooting caused."
Holy fuck. That's power, folks. Imagine being so fearsome that you could shoot a lawyer in the face and have him apologize to you. I mean, not only was Whittington shot in the face by Cheney, the traveling shot actually triggered a minor heart attack. Which, naturally, caused Wittington no end of soft, tender feelings towards Dick.
I mean hell, I don't care who shoots me in the face, and how accidental it might be: I'm still going to have some anger to deal with. "Sure, accidents happen," I'd say angrily, "but dude, you shot me in the FUCKING FACE!"
Of course, I might be more inclined to keep my mouth shut if the guy who shot me could have me killed. And lets face it, if Whittington spoke out against Cheney, the rest of their Republican buddies might stop liking Harry. As might the CIA.
Hell, the press made a bigger deal out of Clinton shooting Lewinski in the face, and she wanted him too!
As an aside, the article goes on to say "Mr Whittington, whose face was still bruised but otherwise appeared healthy..." Now, I don't know about you, but even with the bruises removed, I think one of the last adjectives I would use to describe Harry's face would be "healthy". "Vulpine", "mottled" and "scary" all come to mind long before "healthy".
So, the moral of the story is clear. If you want to be able to shoot lawyers in the face with impunity - and hell, who doesn't? - then go into politics.