Thursday, September 29, 2005

Dirty Secrets

As I am sure we are all aware, there is a cover up going on. Its the government, its the media, its the education system, its your boss, its your parents ... they're all keeping secrets from you. Vital intelligence that would - if it were known to you - make your life easier. Well, if not easier, it would just make it make more sense.

As a service to you - and at extreme risk to my own health - I have collected certain heretofore unknown truths, and present them to you. I ask nothing in return.

The most dangerous animal known to man has now been identified as the panda bear. As a result, pandas (which have been photographed purchasing automatic weapons and laying land-mines outside of churches) have been removed from the Endangered Species list.

Midgets cannot digest spinach.

In France, it is illegal to urinate with your eyes open.

Coca-Cola, if mixed with bananas, causes swelling of the testicles.

The little known vitamin, riboflavin, is actually highly poisonous, and was responsible for the death of Janis Joplin.

There. It is my hope that you are slightly wiser, and therefore, slightly safer. The truth is out there.

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