A long time ago, in a blog, far, far away, Laura (of Daxohol fame - check the links section, I'm too lazy to hyperlink here) asked me some questions. I was supposed to answer them. I did not. I am answering these questions now.
Q. We all know you’re a jackass, what is your proudest moment of jackassedry?
A. Well, I'm not too sure about the jackass thing. Asshole I can accept, but jackass (considering that the dictionary defines a jackass as "A foolish or stupid person; a blockhead")? I admit to being an asshole, but I am niether stupid nor foolish.
Now, for my proudest moment of "assholery", I'd have to say the honking incident. I was stopped at a red light, in the left turn lane, waiting for the light to change. The moment that the light changed, I shifted into first. This process took about 1 second. The car behind me honked their horn.
I got out of my car, and walked over to the man behind me. The light was still green. I walked up to him, and leaned against his car. Here is our conversation:
HIM: (Slightly nervous) What?
ME: What do you want?
HIM: (Getting annoyed) Move your fucking car!
ME: You honked at me to tell me to move my car?
HIM: The light's red now you asshole.
ME: Hmmmm. I guess if you hadn't honked at me, we would be gone by now.
I then returned to his car while he yelled obscenities. But he didn't honk again.
Q. We all know you’re somewhat of a diva, what is your biggest pet peeve?
A. Diva? Jeez, I guess I wasn't aware of the way people perceive me (Diva: Tempermental and conceited). Well, I do have a lot of peet peeves. My biggest one is deliberate stupidity. When people seem to cling to idiocy out of sheer stubborness. You can read more about that elsewhere in my blog.
Q. We all know you’re a fan of the animals, what is your favourite and why?
A. Dogs. Hands down. Dogs are the physical personification of love. If you have a dog, you are loved, period. Ayla (my dog) is perhaps one of the single greatest dogs I have ever encountered. Even people who don't like dogs (whats up with that?) like Ayla.
Q. We all know you’re Simpsons fan. Who is your favourite character?
A. Well, first off, I'd have to say I love Family Guy more than the Simpsons. The Simpsons, as great as they were, have lost their edge, and now just recycle plot lines over and over. However, to address your question, Mr. Burns is my favourite. I've always been a big fan of unapologetic evil.
Q. We all know you’re an artist, who or what inspires you, if anything?
A. I don't really know what inspires me. All I know is, I can do nothing of worth unless an idea comes to me. I can't make them come to me, they just come when they come. However, when I have a good idea, I know it.