Sunday, November 06, 2005

Search Engine Phrases

Search Engines are definitely useful. Hell, without them, the Internet would pretty much blow ass. One of the things I like to do for a larf is to check out the phrases people enter that have lead them to my website. I'd thought I'd share some of the better ones with you.

Phrase: melody grell blog breyer
Notes: As far as I know, I have never used the word "grell", prior to this, in my life.

Phrase: tim hortons fried or baked
Notes: I, for one, prefer to go baked.

Phrase: why dry humping feels good
Notes: I feel bad for the sad, lonely teen (or even sadder, lonelier adult) who typed this one in. Why? Because he/she is not terribly bright. It feels good because you're rubbing something up against your crotch, dumbass.

Phrase: males forced to pee
Notes: For the life of me, I cannot imagine a realistic situation in which a male would be forced to pee, apart from some comically ludicrous need to put out a fire. Even more alien to my thought processes would be the idea of going online to search for this kind of thing. If you want to watch guys pee, put a mirror on your watch and go to a public washroom, like my father did.

Phrase: my testicle pops out
Notes: Ha haa, haa haaah haaahhh eeeehhhh eeeh hhheeeh, snort, wheeze, giggle. Sucker.

Phrase: how to avoid heartattacks
Notes: Staying away from my blog would be a good first step. Oh, and stop eating handfuls of butter.

Phrase: how to clean eggs thrown at house off a window
Notes: This phrase is not terribly funny in and of itself, but I got a good giggle knowing that someone was searching it because they had eggs thrown at their window.

Phrase: lyndsey milf
Notes: Lyndsey is pretty hot.

Phrase: absorbine junior on genitals
Notes: Once again, the mind boggles as to exactly why someone is searching this phrase. Are they looking for a way to ease the pain, or some application tips?

By the way, not enough of you are using the Firefox internet browser. Its better than Microsoft's Internet Explorer (or, alternately, Microcrap's Intercrap Excrapper), its free, and using it pisses of Bill Gates. Three good reasons to give it a try.

And now, for my own amusement, a series of random words and phrases designed to piss off people who are searching for things online.

adult diaper rash
shaved testicles
poughty schoolgirls
free xxx hot action
george w. bush hot action nude hot tub party
mail order transvestite bride
pretty pussy cat in a tartan skirt


Anonymous said...

and ALL of these things lead people to you??


Rach said...


How do you figure this out?

Too funny!

Asher Hunter said...

Down at the bottom of the page you'll see a counter. If you sign up with the counter website, they give you great stats, including what search engine phrases led people to your site.